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When I came to Guatemala for the first time in 2007, I was fearless. I rode buses alone, talked on the phone, tried new foods every day and have some great stories to show for it! Fast forward to today, in the same country, and I feel so far from that girl. Granted, I was single and quite naïve about some situations, but I was fearless in the Lord. I can tell you the time and place where I believe God spoke to me to go on that first mission trip, and it filled me with complete confidence. I lived and breathed God’s word and was transformed by His love. Looking back on that time in life, I sorely miss those days of confidence! Has being a wife and mom changed me that much?
Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16 Fear has shown itself a fierce enemy. Fears that must have been buried underneath excitement have been amplified by the newness of life in Guatemala. (But this is where it gets good…) If I can draw near to JESUS with confidence, surely I can cross the street and talk to a neighbor! I am confident in our calling in a different way. I might not be able to pin-point the exact time and location that God spoke to our hearts about moving here, but I know He is with us. Our faith has been tested and confirmation has come in the seemingly most unlikely of ways. Those fancy-free college days were grand, but I’m glad I’m not still that same girl. It didn’t require much faith to leave back then, when I had a return ticket in my hand. Thankfully, Jesus is faithful (and has a LOT of grace for me) when my head and my heart battle out daily fear vs. confidence. I can say that in Him, I have conquered a few “fears” already (silly calling them fears because they seem so ordinary) like driving, walking around town WITHOUT Larry, going out at night with Lucy, and being bold about asking for help. My confidence doesn’t lie in MY skills, abilities, or talents, but in who CHRIST is in me. When I remember that, I do just fine. He is good, and such a sweet Father. I’m learning what it means to trust Him completely, and loving the journey! |
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